Lazy Days and Thursdays |Am I sharing enough of ‘me’ online?

Pre warning – this is a rather unintentional ranty blog.

I guess I have had inspiration to write this after a conversation I had with my friend Sophie the other day over lunch, coffees and cocktails, which made me notice a certain friend’s approach to what they share about themselves online and in life in general. And it’s something that has been happening for a while, but I have only just realised. Let’s just say this friend’s approach in life, seems to be to show off. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not in any means jealous when I say this, I’ll always be a supporter of friends doing well in life, it makes me proud to say the least. I think it’s just her approach to announcing things that really bugs me. I would say this friend is the kind of friend who seems to have to have one up on you. For example, balancing out a conversation seems to end up with her, turning the conversation back onto her. So, If I am moaning about something, she tends to somehow make it about her. Also every conversation that I have with her now seems to be about how she got a guy’s number, or she might be going on a date, etc. And, of course I’m happy for her, but, it would be nice to have a conversation about something which isn’t just about her showing off in one form or another. She’s traveling at the moment, and I have noticed that she only seems to want to video call me, is when she’s in a bar and the beer is flowing. Which is pointless anyway, because I can’t hear what she’s saying. I guess, it would just be nice to have a normal conversation with her, and one where I don’t have to battle with loud music and her talking to other people in the background.

I think I might have gone slightly off topic here, but the point I was really going for with this post is, and again, don’t think I have the jealousy bug for one second, but sometimes I feel like she might overshare a little bit too much on Facebook. I mean, it’s great to share good things that happen to you, but, is there a point when it’s almost beyond the point of having something great happen to you that you want to share with all your family and friends, and just showing off on a bigger platform – and constantly too? Or maybe, I’m just at the point where I feel as if I have shared a bit too much of myself online over the years, and now I feel as if I want to get back a bit of privacy control on my life. Don’t get me wrong, I like to share my good news with my online world, but I often feel like people don’t need to know every little thing about me and every little aspect of my life. They just don’t, I feel as if there should be a limit of my life that I choose to openly share with the world. I also think I have been feeling this for a while. A good friend of mine, Paige the other day, when I voiced how I felt about this particular subject, and if she noticed that our friend often over shared to the point of showing off, which she did, and she did mention that she had noticed that I don’t tweet as much as I used to. And she’s right, I don’t, well not on my main account. I have a private account, which I basically use to splurge down everything and I love how liberating it is. With no one following me, I can write down whatever the hell I like without worrying or having to think about what I am saying, and I love it.

But yes, I would describe this blog as very typically lifestyle. I don’t have a niche, I write about what the hell I want to write about – honestly you should see all the ideas and scribbled out blog note and drafts that I have lying around, and that’s how I like it. Don’t get me wrong, it’s great to find your style and work with it. In fact, in some ways, in order to find a way to stand out in a heavily polluted online traffic system, that is probably the best way to go about things. But, honestly, I like the freedom I give myself to write what I like. And I do pride myself on the fact that, whilst I write about a variety of topics, most unrelated from the previous post, or, well that’s the plan once I have really gained some motivation to really work on my blog, getting it out there and making it something that I am proud enough to share with the world more, everything is me, it’s my opinion, my style and my tone and I write it how I want to write it. I mean, my favourite kind of blogs to follow and read actually are the kind that contain a wide range of content, who aren’t afraid to hold back from writing about what they want and they make it their own. They’re not afraid to speak up, or swear or fill up a post with slang. The one’s where I read through and really feel like I know the writer on a personal level or at least parts of themselves that they choose to share with the world; I know how they view the world, how they feel about things, what makes them tick, what drives and motivates them and even their catch up posts feels like I am having a chat with a friend.
So, when you write a lifestyle blog, about your own life, your own experiences and your own opinions, how much sharing about yourself are you actually doing? Whenever I sit down and splurge a post down on a page, I am writing about my life. I write about opinions, I write about feelings, I write about things I enjoy and dislike etc, I write about what I’ve been up to, my daily routines and things that are going on in my life because I am writing a blog for myself, for my own enjoyment and because it’s about me. Every time the words flow out, I am giving people a small insight in my of my life, without a second thought.

I’d like to think that, as a world, we are naturally a lot more online savvy now, then we were back in the days of MSN and early facebooking. We know to cover addresses or personal details when sharing photographs of mail items or personal information etc. We know to give vague details out about where we live, where we work/go to school etc. We know, how much personal information to keep back from posting out to the world, because of the fact that we know it could come back around to bite us in the arse if we don’t. But, I am also talking about the other stuff too, the nitty gritty personal stuff that we share with our friends, or the crap and personal stuff that we might not want to share with the world online. But, I love reading other people’s personal posts and daily updates about their lives, mostly because I am a nosy sod. I like reading about people’s relationships, or what they’ve been up to with their friends, or look at photos of their pets or living rooms.

So does that make me slightly hypocritical for choosing NOT to share every little detail about my life? Am I just adding to the ‘highlights reel’ concept of social media for not oversharing all my personal details? I am a definite advocate for the whole ‘you do you boo’ on people’s blogs and social media, even if I can be a little bit of a hypocrite when I do sometimes read people’s updates and shares online. For one thing, I CANNOT stand though, is when people post vague, attention seeking posts online, and then refuse to tell people what they’re trying to say because they don’t want to overshare. You know, the whole: “I’m so sad. L” followed by people messaging saying: “R U ok hun? Message me if you want to talk.” And then them replying saying: “I don’t want to talk about it on here.” I mean, let’s be honest it’s not like we’re not all a little nosy. Of course you don’t want to hear/see that someone’s feeling like shit, but there’s that inner nosy side that comes out, because we all are naturally interested in gossip. I have to try really hard not to roll my eyes when I see someone’s ‘needy sounding’ facebook statuses and tweets. I’m not heartless because I’m down for people to share the love and support when their friend is in need, but, sometimes I do find myself wondering if that post was Facebook status/ Twitter worthy?

But, I am sure you can see where I am coming from. I know everyone’s life isn’t as perfect as their Instagram feed, but, from a personal level, I would never share a status or tweet like that, because as far as I am concerned I would prefer to keep the shit aspects of my life off the internet. I’ll message my friends – rant etc, but I would never tweet about it. Of course, I will have the odd moan or occasional ‘had one of them days’ type tweets or Instagram captions, but, I would never go into details about it.

I mean, I understand why people DO write about less positive time in their lives. The wonderful thing about writing is, it is very therapeutic, and can serve as some form of therapy for a lot of people. I know that I can rant, rave and splurge down 5000 words to get it all out of my system, and I usually write things down in order to make sense of things. But, it’s not something that I feel comfortable sharing on such a public platform.

So back to the question, am I sharing enough of me online if I’m not sharing it all? I mean, I’ve been pretty fortunate that so far in my twenty three years, that my life has been pretty great so far, but there will always be some form of drama, there will always be good times, bad times and the odd shit time, but that’s life for you. I wouldn’t say by not sharing all aspects of my life online, people are missing out on my life story because I choose not to air my dirty laundry online. Of course, if my close friends and family messaged me to ask me what my latest post is about, of course I’d be happy to tell them.

So yes, I do think that you can be a lifestyle blogger without over sharing every little personal detail about yourself online. At the end of the day it’s your blog, your content and YOU choose what YOU want to share with the world, whether that is a little or a lot.

Anyway, that’s all for now folks.

Until next time,

Love, Hugs and Pugs, Keri.

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