Pre-warning, this blog contains the word fuck a lot. I am mostly aiming this warning at members of my family, who are not a fan of swearing, who may happen to stumble across this post, I appologise in advance. At least I used a good example of alliteration though eh! 😉
After reading a few blogs who do something similar, I’ve also decided to do a blog series called Fuck It Fridays, where I will write about challenges and how I over came them, or basically anything where you think, “fuck it, I’m doing it anyway!” Now I’m not promising myself that I will write one of these once a week on a Friday, but I will write the occasional fuck it, post, which will be posted up on a Friday, so there’s that.
So without further ado, I present: Fuck It Friday #Two – Being open to horror.
So this week, I was thinking, and yes this isn’t so much about stepping out of my comfort zone, or maybe it might be depending on how you look at it. But yes, this week I have had an idea, or a brain storm, or whatever it is that’s now been penned as the politically correct to call it, about being open to new things.
When I say new things, I am talking about being open to watching films and tv shows, that I normally would not be so open to giving a try.
Now I am what I would describe as, a self proclaimed ‘wimp’ or ‘pussy.’ To put it simply, I don’t like horror movies or scary tv shows. I have a history of an over imaginative brain and a very big curiosity of reading accounts of vile and inhuman acts to the point where I scare myself shitless or I find myself feeling guilty for reading about such disgusting things.
By the way, what is it with people’s fascination with reading horrific accounts of murder and torture? Of course, I find myself feeling an array of different types of emotions, from disgust, horrified, scared for humanity, ill, ect. I also find it fascinating that a human being could inflict such torture and monstrosities on another human being and not feel one ounce of remorse. In other words, these kind of articles shock, sicken and disgust me, and yet I still find myself being unable to not read on, if one should happen to come my way. Curiosity always gets the better of me. I would like to put it out there that I do not actively seek to find these articles, usually I stumble across them online during an innocent scroll on Facebook, or watch something on TV and end up finding out that it is based on a true story and wanting to know more. That kind of thing.
Not that I would actively seek things out, but, often my curiosity gets the better of me and I end up giving myself nightmares for weeks/months etc. For example, when I was about nine years of age, and this was just after the news announcement of the horrifically shocking, horrendous murders of ten year-old Holly Wells and Jessica Chapmen, two girls who were not that much older than myself. I remember picking up a newspaper article that was left around my grandparent’s house, of a load of children and teenagers ranging from the ages of two to sixteen being horrifically murdered from the 60s through to 1993. This incidentally gave me nightmares for a good couple of years and I still to this day can remember some of the incredibly sad and shocking things that happened to those poor kids, as well as the names of their killers and other things. This was about 14 years ago and it’s stayed with me ever since.
I also remember being 7 years of age and watching the film – The Witches at school, based on the famous, well loved children’s book by Roald Dahl. I think I had gotten the book for Christmas that year and had told my teacher how much I enjoyed it, so we ended up watching the film adaptation, with our parent’s permission of course, in class. Needless to say, watching the children disappear at the start of the film gave me nightmares, which ended up lasting for a rather long time. I specifically remember the witch hiding down the alley way and snatching one of the children, being the main cause of my nightmares. I found that I had to hold my Mum’s hand everywhere whenever I went outside and was really scared of gaps in a wall. At the start, my mum said we had to stop and look down every street corner or gap in the buildings before we could walk passed, because I was afraid that someone might be hiding down there, ready to snatch me away.
My mum did joke that my new developed fear of the whole, stranger danger thing, helped her out in a big way because before that I’d constantly be running off and she’d always lose me. And then all of a sudden I had to hold her hand everywhere and would not leave her side whatsoever.
So I’m glad that the film served a good purpose of heightening the dangers that there are people out in the world who don’t have good intentions and they could be anywhere, but looking back, I wish it hadn’t have been such a harsh life lesson for me at seven. I generally did scare myself silly.
I don’t know, I am one of those people who likes to believe that everything does happen for a reason, and maybe I did need to have some form of awareness of dangerous people who like to harm others, especially little innocent children. And who knows, maybe it prevented me from trouble later on in life. I mean, I once accepted sweets from a stranger in the park and my mum had to give me a life lesson about how I mustn’t accept sweets from people I don’t know. Luckily it was harmless, but looking back my mum did have a point. Plus they were green. It also might be a reason behind the fact that I hate horror movies and scary TV shows.
I think I have largely gone off topic with the point of my blog post though. The point I was trying to make though, was for the past few weeks I have thought fuck it, why not give it a go and watch some more scary stuff on the tv. I have a fair few friends who are into the horror genre of things, who love a good scare and being kept on edge and I have always actively refused to watch those kind of movies with them. With the exception to the odd few times over the years, but who’s counting?
I have, however, as mentioned multiple times in my blog recently, have been more open to watching the types of things that I wouldn’t necessarily do normally. In other words, I have had a few fuck it moments and have slightly surprised myself.
Lotty is a big fan of the horror genre, and hanging out with me a lot has often resulted in us watching more, in her words, lame tv shows and having to refrain often what she would like to watch.
However, for some reason, and it’s so not like me, I have actually been willing to watch American Horror Story, which is a big deal for me. So as mentioned a fair few times recently on my blogs, for the past few weeks since being up at Lake A, Lotty and I have been chilling out and watching a lot of American Horror Story. We’re up to season five now. Which is a definite fuck it in my eyes. It’s actually been really enjoyable to watch. Weird, but so good. I especially enjoyed season three and four, which apparently were the least popular. Or so I heard.
I also like the concept of the whole mini horror series every season and the fact that it’s pretty much the same cast throughout the series. An the fact that each series is different, but supposedly linked to each other. So far I’ve only seen the link in season four to season two, but then again, maybe I’m not overly observant in the horror genre, as I’m still a cautious watcher. I like the fact that each series you have the opportunity to start again, meet new characters, but you still have the same familiar actors so it’s not like a whole new cast would be thrown at you every year, because I think that would be a bit of a turn off for me. It’s always a certain excitement of, what’s going to happen in this series.
So that’s a big fuck it on my part. I’ve also been willingly watching a few horror movies too recently. So not me. I’m still not won over by them and I wouldn’t actively seek them out for enjoyment when on my own. It’s been fun to be a bit more fuck it though, so there’s that. I guess sometimes it’s fun to try new things. I don’t think I’ll ever be a fan of horror movies and TV shows, but at least I know I can be a bit more open to at least giving them a try. Only with others though.
So there you have it, my second instalment of my ‘Fuck it Fridays’ series. I surprised myself when I found myself rather enjoying watching a completely different genre to my usual and opened my eyes a bit more to watching things that I wouldn’t usually. Not too bad eh. I have a few ideas for this series, but I’m not sure exactly when I will be back for more fucks on a Friday. Watch this space though!
Until next time,
Love, hugs and pugs,